reminder: we do not meet as a class today though you can meet your group if you decide to do that in the classroom. I have already assigned the groups based on the drafts you sent, and you will need to meet the deadline so as not to lose points on your essay 1.
People who didn't send drafts on time: you will need to go to the Skyline Writing Lab for tutor help to get feedback on your paper; this also helps you fill your 16 hour by arrangement lab requirement for the course. You will however lose 10 points off your grade for failing to participate in the peer review process, so try to do your best paper ever to make up for that loss.
I will see you all next week with your final paper and vocab log updated for at least 4 weeks (at least 8 words). We will have a quiz on roots and on grammar, so study up!
PS: I am cutting and pasting the peer review form here in case you lost yours. NOTE: everthing I grade on is right on this form, so use it to self check as well as review other's work!
Peer Review, essay #1
Author’s name:
Reviewer’s name:
Find and underline the writer’s thesis. Paraphrase (put into your own words) the thesis here (note: if you can’t find the thesis, that’s something you need to let the writer know!):
Comment on the introduction. Is it a funnel? Has the writer included enough background info to set the context for you, assuming you are the intended audience here? Has s/he explained and/or defined all the terms or names or specific things so that you know all you need to in order to understand the essay? If not, write down what you need in the intro to be better prepared as a reader.
Find, number and double underline each topic sentence the writer has created. Next, comment on each t.s., using the number you gave each one so the author knows which t.s your commenting on as you go along. Make sure the topic sentences are:
a) not just facts, but are indications of the topic of the paragraph.
b) written to transition in and out of ideas effectively.
c) matching the supporting info in the paragraph
d) related somehow to thesis. If you are confused by how the t.s. relates to the whole idea of the essay, the writer needs to know!
For each t.s. you have numbered, there should be a paragraph that follows the t.s. Go through each paragraph and see if enough support/evidence is present.
Ex: paragraph 1: good support
Paragraph 2: I don’t think you proved that rock music makes children into blood thirsty killers yet. Maybe more proof is needed?
For each numbered paragraph, comment on the structure. Make sure each paragraph has a point (t.s), plenty of illustration/information (which is very specific to the point, not broad, sweeping general stuff, but very on topic) and an explanation. The explanation is the place where the author explains how all the points relate to his/her main idea, the wrap up. Make sure you see one in each paragraph.
Circle the places where the author has cited the readings or any other source. Have they:
a) introduced source?
b) given reference so you can find the source if you want to look it up?
c) explained what the quote means to them? (Remember, quotes can’t stand
alone. All quotes need an explanation that relates the quoted text to the
author’s point.)
d) chosen quotes that support their ideas?
Comment on essay’s organization. Does it flow smoothly for you or did you find it hard to follow in places? Be specific, either way.
Notice whether the writer has made CONCESSION to the opposing side of the argument. Sentences like “Although X, Y is still better” are concession phrases. Other words are: Though, even though, while, whereas, but, however, etc. If no mention has been made of the opposing view in this argument, let the writer know s/he needs to include a better balance.
Comment on the diction used. Is it appropriate for the audience? Is the writer consistent in the level of diction throughout the letter?
Note the use of FOCUS: if the writer uses a lot of: it, they, there is, there are, this, that types wording that leaves you unsure what the real meaning of the phrase is, let the reader know. Real active verbs are better than “is” and real concrete subjects are better than “it” or “this.”
Take a look at the conclusion. Is it a reverse funnel starting with the thesis? Does it wrap up the main ideas and offer you something new to think about? Can you suggest any improvement?
Do you see any grammar error (look for RTS, comma splice, verb tense shifts, etc) the author makes more than five times in the essay?(Choose at most 2 such patterns of error- grammar IS NOT the main focus here!)
13. Give some positive feedback to the writer here. What did s/he do well?
